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CARROLL: Lewis Grizzard’s humor keeps on tickin’
David Carroll
David Carroll is a news anchor for WRCB in Chattanooga, Tenn.

I am a proud fan of newspapers. I'm that guy you see sitting alone at a restaurant with a newspaper spread out next to my plate. People walk by and say, “Can't you just get the news from your phone?” Absolutely. But as long as there are printing presses, I'm reading the actual paper.

I'll always be grateful to my parents for subscribing to the newspaper. I was 6 years old when President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. I cut out every article about it, and made my own scrapbook. I misplaced it many decades ago. I used to think it would someday appear among my boxes of childhood junk, but it was not to be.

My weekly column is laced with occasional attempts at humor. Now and then, readers send me a message of thanks for the laughter, and that encouragement keeps me going.

On those days when I can provide a smile, I must give credit to a writer whose clippings are still in my possession. I have a manila envelope with columns written by Lewis Grizzard. Yes, I know most of his work is preserved in his best-selling books, and on the internet. But I originally read his columns in newsprint, and when I need inspiration I still do today.

For those who have never experienced the joy of reading a Grizzard column, let me give you a brief history. Lewis Grizzard was a true son of the South, living in Georgia his entire life, except for a brief, unpleasant interlude in Chicago. He was a gifted writer, starting out in sports. By the age of 23, he was promoted to sports editor of the Atlanta Journal. Did you get that? Someone at that paper thought this kid was something special, and they were ever so right.

Most writers would be satisfied with that job for decades, but Grizzard, still in his twenties, was offered a better-paying position at the Chicago Sun-Times. How did that go? Consider that after he returned to Atlanta, he wrote a book called, “If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.”

When he began writing a thrice-weekly column for the Atlanta Constitution (later syndicated nationwide), it became evident that his interests ranged far beyond home runs and touchdowns. His musings on his life, and whatever else caught his eye would be considered viral sensations today. His columns were sent by readers via mail to aunts, uncles, and friends. They were taped on refrigerator doors and distributed at work. “Did you read Grizzard today?” was as common a saying as “Pass the ketchup, please.” With his deep southern drawl, he even told his stories in theaters, to sellout crowds.

Many of us have favorite Grizzard sayings that we still use today. Some of them became titles of his 25 books: “If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low,” “Elvis is Dead, and I Don't Feel So Good Myself,” and “Don't Bend Over in the Garden Granny, You Know Them Taters' Got Eyes.” Plus my favorite, “I Took a Lickin' and Kept on Tickin'.”

That last one, about his many medical episodes, is special to me. On November 30, 1993, he was promoting the book at a Chattanooga bookstore. I covered the event for my TV station. He had been quite ill with heart and kidney issues. He was 47, pale and frail. Somehow, he rose to the occasion, signing more than a thousand books that night.

It was my one chance to tell him how important he was to me, something I'm sure he had heard countless times before. He expressed his appreciation, which meant the world to me.

Just four months later, he passed away, leaving a void that has never been filled. Many of us try, but few succeed. Believe me, only a handful of times has my name been mentioned in the same sentence as Lewis Grizzard. I can truly say that as compliments go, that's as good as it gets. Lewis would have turned 80 this year. If you missed out on his work, now is a good time to catch up.

David Carroll is a Chattanooga news anchor, and his latest book is "I Won't Be Your Escape Goat," available from his website, ChattanoogaRadioTV.com. You may contact him at 900 Whitehall Rd, Chattanooga, TN 37405, or at RadioTV2020@yahoo.com.