My nephew in Greece sent me this picture two years ago. Dr. John was not a medical doctor; he was a blues musician in New Orleans. Born in 1941, he was an American singer, songwriter and pianist. His music styles were jazz, R&B, funk and blues with a voo-doo inspired stage persona. The city of New Orleans and its vibes, culture, rhythms, etc., molded his unique style of music.  He passed away in 2019 at the age of 77, as a six-time Grammy winner and inductee in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He WAS a legend!

This picture of him with his words is, to me, a love letter to yourself! According to him... You are just right! In every way! My take is... so… forgive yourself, love yourself, and thank GOD for yourself. And consider this…. if you believe in God, The Supreme Being, Creator of the Universe, The Alpha and the Omega, created you EXACTLY in God’s divine plan for you, only you; no other person on the planet is like you. You are one-of-a-kind, unique, the apple of God’s eye. “I made you in My Image” (Genesis). I know how many hairs on YOUR head” (Luke and Matthew) and everyone else’s as well!” (haha) gotcha! “I know what I have in store for you; I have great hope in you.” (Jeremiah) “I know the day you came into this world and the day you will leave it”. (Psalm 139, Job, Ecclesiastes). “I made you for a reason!” (Isaiah, Proverbs). “I love you unconditionally” (Romans). I think God gave us the Ten Commandments (not the Ten Suggestions) for a reason! So go figure it out!

Self-love is a fairly modern catchphrase/buzzword, 1950s and 60s, during the Hippie movement. Recently, I saw a post of a famous celebrity, “Miss So and So is practicing a day of self-love on a Sunday.” It listed all the ‘take a bubble bath, get a pedicure, don’t cook, eat healthily, sleep in, binge-watch TV, sneak a treat,’ etc… But the one thing it did not say was ‘attend church/temple/synagogue/worship,’ which is Love of God and Peace in your soul, a form of respect for your holy self. I do love myself, but sometimes I think I could do a better job of the maintenance part of self-loving. Let’s say there are some parts I like better than others (flossing, for example). Recently, I was asked, “Why do you hate yourself?” (Huh?)… (Because I was being slovenly???)

Is everyone like that? Self-critical? “I’m ok with my eyes, but I hate my nose?” “I wish I were taller, thinner, smarter, better-looking, richer, younger, famous,” etc. etc. etc..  Do you chastise yourself when you make an error, commend yourself on a job well done? Do you put yourself first or last in your world?  The ‘periphery’ of your world may include family, friends, work—internet, church, hobbies etc... Right this minute, if you had 15 seconds, off the top of your head, could you name 15,10... Even 5 great things about you? What about negative things about you?  Is that easier? “I suck…” etc. Oops, shouldn’t it be the other way around?

These are some great quotes about loving yourself.

“Love yourself, fiercely and unconditionally.” Atticus (110 B.C.-32 B.C.)

“You are not a drop in the ocean; you are the ocean in a drop.” Rumi (1207-1273)

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance,” Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“Be you, love you. ALL ways, always.” Alexandra Elle (1991-

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.” Roy Bennett (1963-present)

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” Lucille Ball (1911-1989)

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”  Robert Morley (1908-1992)

“You are enough, just as you are.” Meghan Markle (1981- present)

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha (563 B.C.-483 B.C.)

“Self-love is the source of all our other loves.” Yung Pueblo (1988-present)

Great wisdom from MANY sources, instructing and reminding us to validate our own selves FIRST, before seeking validation in external sources, or even in other people.

Remember, I am not a doctor, therapist or priest; these are just my opinions. Self-love is having a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness, but it does NOT mean being totally self-centered, selfish and narcissistic. The Greek word is “filaftia,” (fee-lav-TEE-uh), which literally means “friend with yourself” which entails self-acceptance and self-esteem.

I’m not talking about vain, self-glorification, self-absorption, self-centeredness. That is narcissism, and one who feels that way, male or female, is a narcissist. God made us to love ourselves as a start, so that we can learn to love others. Remember ‘love your neighbor as yourself’! A hard order! “Do we really HAVE to?” (No. 2 of the two great commands.) Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. We are instructed in the Bible to take care of our physical, mental and emotional well-being. SO... worship God, not yourself! You are a gift from God, so unwrap that bow and wrapping paper and start having a party of/ in/with/ your life! Love, Carol V. 

Carol Veliotis is a local columnist for The Covington News. She can be reached at carol.veliotis@gmail.com.