It seems that these two feelings ‘make the world go around.’ So strong, and yet polar opposites from each other, probably the two strongest emotions! And ironically, they are BOTH represented by the color RED! Red is the color of extremes, passion, anger, intense emotion, even dangerous violence. And completely opposite…There is Love and desire, the color of the heart, the seat of Love, romance and fertility. Valentine’s red hearts, candy, red roses, yet the devil wears red! And the cardinals in the Vatican! Voltaire (1694-1778), the great French philosopher, stated, “Love is of all the passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the body.”...‘been there, done that.’
In 2009, I opened a small art gallery (a life dream). One of my artists was a rough-and-tumble welder-sculptor, whom I helped sponsor. His father was also a bit rough, but was a country preacher. I noticed on his left hand, on all 4 knuckles, in large letters, he had tattooed L…O…V…E. And on his right hand, on three knuckles, he had H…A…T. I observed and asked him, “What is a Love hat?” (Thinking that I had a clue). He explained, “Your left hand goes over your heart, and your right hand is for punching someone, and I wanted that message permanently inked on my hands. I sat there while the guy tattooed my left hand, OK with Love, but then when he started hate on my right hand, I had second thoughts… wait…. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A MAN OF GOD. I cannot carry hate in my heart, so just as he was about to ink the E to complete HATE, I stopped him, just in the nick of time. No, I can’t go there!” (So, he works it into a sermon)...Just the other day, I heard hatred is red hat reversed, is that a Love hat?
What about God’s Love? GOD’s top two commandments are “LOVE Me, Your God, and Love your neighbor as yourself.” Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But yet it’s SO hard for people to follow. “I can’t Love my neighbor; he’s different from me! He/she does not think like me! Or look like me! Or vote like me, so I have to hate them.” Hate can grow so rapidly, I compare it to kudzu and wisteria; fast growing, insidious, goes underground, pops up 30 feet away, strangles whatever is in its path. I battle wisteria every day in my garden. I have to confess that I try to quell feelings of hatred when they rear their ugly head in my heart!... Yet I see a tiny weed, seed or flower growing in a small crack in the sidewalk, with no care, no TLC, no good soil, no watering, in unhospitable conditions, yet they hang on for dear life and thrive. Why can’t Love be like that? DO we say “Bad morning to you?”...“Have a terrible day?”...“I hope you fail!” (Even if we might be thinking it?) OR… “Good morning!”...“Have a great day!”…“Good luck to you!” Again, to quote Voltaire, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” How civilized and magnanimous!!! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our politicians could act civilly to one another, and our citizens to each other?
The ancient Greeks had three words for Love: Eros, Philia and Agape. Eros (think erotic) was romantic feelings, desire and sexual attraction. Philia was Love between friends, characterized by loyalty, respect and shared experiences. Agape (a-GOP-ay) is the purest form of Love, associated with compassion, charity, unconditional giving, a universal Love. Many Sunday School classes are named Agape. Now, as for hate, there are MANY kinds! Some crimes are ‘hate crimes’, where a victim is targeted because of race, religion, disability, sexual preferences, etc. There is revenge/payback hate. Do they not remember what God said? “Revenge is mine: I will repay says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). God is the Ultimate Judge and punisher of wrongdoing, and that humans should not seek revenge themselves. There is pure malicious, evil hate, and dislike can devolve into extreme violence. The great Nelson Mandela believed ‘’No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and IF they can learn to hate, they can be taught to Love, for Love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” Hatred is a learned behavior, but Love can be taught instead! Try teaching and practicing Love. It’s a tall order!
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900, a genius who died at a mere 46) said, “Only what is fine, and finely conceived, can feed Love. But anything will feed Hate.” As a child, you may have taunted a friend in an argument, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That was first in print in 1862 in the Christian Recorder of the AME Church, as a proverb of resilience against verbal bullying and hurtful language. BUT…‘Boy oh boy,’ words can hurt and wound deeply. As a woman once told me ‘’I forgave them, but I will NEVER forget what they said.” Wilde also said, “Hatred is blind, as well as Love.” I told my Priest that I was attempting to write a column on Love and hate (both heavy topics). She rolled her eyes, and exclaimed ‘Oh boy!’ probably hoping that I would not receive hate mail!!!....... Love, Carol Veliotis
Carol Veliotis is a local columnist for The Covington News. She can be reached at carol.veliotis@gmail.com.
