Don’t you love to laugh? I do! It’s one of the greatest feelings, especially a belly laugh, a stitch in your side, pop a button, liquid spews out of your nose, or you even wet yourself. “Die laughing” is an idiomatic expression for sustained uncontrolled laughter; it can make you breathless; it just makes you feel good, and if you can enjoy it with someone else, all the better. I don’t mean laugh AT someone, which is a cruel form of laughter, but WITH someone. And sharing a laugh with a friend, even more fun. Yesterday I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face. They say it takes around 50 muscles to frown and 12-17 to smile and laugh. Even a forced smile produces a positive effect. Sometimes you have a shared history which enriches the laugh. “Remember that time we….” “I can’t believe we …” A friend is a precious gift; you can never have too many. Do you remember your first friend? Everyone needs friends! Didn’t the Beatles sing “I get by with a little help from my friends”?
Plato (428 B.C. – 348 B.C) believed that, “One friend is worth 50 enemies.” He lived to be 80, so he had a long life in which to make friends AND enemies! The other day, I saw an online post from a guy who asked a rhetorical question, “Is it OK to have no friends?” The unexpected answer was, “Of course!” He admitted that he over-used his friends until they all dropped by the wayside. In order to have friends, you have to BE ONE. It’s reciprocal, if you want a good friend. The other day, a woman was describing another woman to me, “She’s a little weird.” I replied, “Who isn’t weird in their own way? We are ALL weird!” I sort of look at it this way…if you can tolerate and put up with my quirks and my idiosyncrasies, then maybe I can put up with yours? Let’s see what areas we have in common and build from there? It’s impossible to agree on everything, but you can find common ground. Aren’t all relationships like that? A good friend is one who, when their dog chewed up your new shoes, they ordered a replacement that day! Or who drives you to the hospital and stays all day, even through the night. Always remembers your birthday and helps you celebrate. Brings you food if you are sick, and always lends a sympathetic ear, checks up on you, road trips, etc. Each friendship is custom-made IMHO.
The famous boxer Muhammad Ali made a terrific quote about this: “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school, but if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you haven’t learned anything.” There are specific types of friends: Acquaintances, casual friends, close friends, and intimate (deep personal connection, emotional support, trusted and understanding) friends. A friend can be with you for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. In the last eight years, FIVE of my closest friends have died (motorcycle accident, stroke, cancer, drunk driver, heart attack). Four were sudden losses, a huge void after 30, 40, 50 years!
When I was a single working girl in New York City, I rode the subway to work every day. All kinds of crazies were on the subway. Once, a man on a skateboard, with handicapped legs, traversed every car on the subway. He would silently hand out a business card which read, “Give me $0.50 and we will be friends,” then he would circle back around to collect his money. I was living on a shoestring at the time, and when he came back in front of me with his hand out, I shook my head as a ‘no thanks,’ so he punched me in the face. After that, everyone ‘became’ his friend!
What is a fair-weather friend? One who is with you in the good times but disappears when the going gets tough. Other subgroups of friends include boyfriend, girlfriend, BFF, friends with benefits, situationships, soulmate, confidante, buddy, work friends, church friends, schoolfriends, hobby friends, club friends and so forth.
They say “laughter is the best medicine.” Why is that? Because it is a physical and emotional response. Because it relieves stress, boosts your immune system and improves mood. It stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles. Oxygen intake increases endorphins. The benefits of friendship offer all of that, plus friends motivate and support us, prevent loneliness, make us feel good and have someone to share experiences. They say that friends are the family that you get to pick! Remember the ten years of the hit TV show Friends? The actress Audrey Hepburn is credited with saying, “Laughter is and always will be the best form of therapy.” And author Madeleine L’Engle believes, “A good laugh heals a lot of hurts.” Last week, a bright yellow car passed me; the license plate simply read OMG LOL (Oh My Gosh Laugh Out Loud). I loved the message and the sunshiny car driving that message all over town.
There is a Christian hymn entitled “What a friend we have in Jesus.” An 1855 poem, sung famously by Alan Jackson. “Can we find a friend so faithful?” Jesus will always love you, even if no one else does!
Carol Veliotis is a local columnist for The Covington News. She can be reached at carol.veliotis@gmail.com.
