These words haunt even those whose faith is sure in Christ. As Jesus suffers His passion on the cross, he said seven phrases, each one that reveals something about the nature of God. All the other words from the cross sound so in control- in pain of course, but in control. We still see him loving His mother and all of his future disciples as he placed us in her care, comforting the thief on the cross, and being the God that he is. But in these questioning words, we hear uncertainty; we hear sorrow. Some might even say doubt.

Some people venture to say that Jesus was questioning God‘s will and others will use these words and the whole passion to reject God altogether. If God is willing to make his son suffer instead of himself, that’s not the kind of God they want to serve.

Yet anyone who is a parent, or has loved a child in this capacity, knows that is not the case. We have all been through our own heartbreak in our lives, and while those times are difficult, they pale in comparison to seeing our child being heartbroken. I remember my son coming home with tears coming down his face telling me that some girl had broken up with him and brokenhis heart. I just stood and hugged him and didn’t have any words to say.

I think the reason it’s harder is because there’s nothing we can do in that situation. We love our children, and can give them words of affirmation, but we can’t take away the fact that their hearts are broken. I can’t change some girl’s heart or snap my fingers and just make the whole thing go away.

It’s in these moments that I look to the cross, and Jesus, saying, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” and I understand the love of the Father in a deeper way.

We’re not looking at a father who is far off, disconnected from what is happening to his son. We have a father who is brokenhearted over the fact that he is separated from his son in that moment. Yet, it is not God the Father who has forsaken his son, it is our sin that has caused them to be separated. Our sin that made Him die on a cross.

I’ve come to understand these words in a new way over the past two years after having a special needs child. It hasn’t been that hard so far, beyond a lot of doctors and therapy appointments. So far, it is still a sweet little baby face that stares up at me and everyone who sees him loves him. But sometimes I let my mind wander to the future, to a time when a child might make fun of him, or he might try with all his heart to do something and just not be able to do it, or somebody might not give him an opportunity because of his genetic makeup. In these moments, I wish so much that I could take the rejection, that I could take on the hurt, but this is not physically possible. So I “offer it up,” as the saying goes, asking that any minor inconvenience or suffering that I encounter will console the suffering heart of Jesus and others who suffer. And that is a miracle to think that is possible in even a little way.

But in my weak moments, my heart breaks with worry–conjuring up all the possible moments of heartache my son may have. And I know that is not the right way to be. Worry is the opposite of prayer- holding onto things instead of handing them to God in trust. So I must turn to prayer instead of worry.

Reading these words, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” now gives me comfort. To know that when those moments come, for you, for all of us, whether it’s dealing with the heartbreak of a child or the other challenges and sorrows of life, I am not alone. I have a Father in heaven, who suffered himself in the sorrow of his son’s heartbreak and pain and wants to be with us in our sufferings as well. That is the kind of God I want to love and who wants to love me in return.

Kasey Jordan is a former missionary and lives in Monticello.