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Irwin: Three Presidents’ Portraits
Andy Irwin

"Just found out that at a charity auction of celebrity portraits in E. Hampton, my portrait by artist William Quigley topped list at $60K”

–  The Reality TV Star's tweet, 7:54 AM, July 16, 2013



The Reality TV Star wanted to buy a portrait    

    of himself.

He hired people to bid on it,

    to drive up the price

        to prove he was worth it.

Now, the portrait keeps his patrons' company

    at a golf club.


The company we keep,

    quick or dead.



The Reality TV Star hired a fixer,

    one who calls himself

        The Dirty Trickster.

This Dirty Trickster once worked for

    Richard Nixon.

        (Who’s infamy brought him his own    

            tricky nickname.)

The Dirty Trickster caries a portrait of Nixon

    everywhere he goes

        between his shoulder blades.



My old friend

    Bullet Standingdeer

        asked me a riddle:

“Why was the old Cherokee

   always broke?”

I replied, “I don’t know.”

Bullet said,

    “Because he didn’t want to

        walk around with a       

            picture of Andrew Jackson

                in his pocket.”


The Reality TV Star

    has a portrait of Andrew Jackson

       on his office wall.


Jackson, who would have thrown his

        brother in arms

            John Ross,

                under the bus.

Only, of course, there was no bus.


So Jackson’s law forced John Ross

    and John Ross’ wife Quatie

        to walk

            to Oklahoma.

Only, along the way, Quatie gave her coat

    to a cold, crying child.


And she died.


The Reality TV Star said of Andrew Jackson,

     “He had a big heart.”


The company we keep,

    quick or dead.