It's a fact: Middle school is a horrible experience. What if we changed seventh grade into a gigantic field trip? Instead of going to school, all seventh graders would be assigned to a corporation for the entire school year. Each morning, a yellow limo would collect all the junior executives and take them to the airport, where each kid would board a plane, bound for some location, to do the bidding of their bosses. One kid would fly to Detroit to negotiate prices for automatic transmissions. Another would fly to New York to interview models for overcoat ads. Another would fly to San Francisco to sign a hot new band for the label. This would be pretty exciting to kids who would otherwise be conjugating irregular verbs. Can you imagine a squadron of cheerful tiny people who are actually thrilled at the idea of flying in a metal tube? Think of the fuel savings. Think of the reduced alcohol-related accidents.
After one year of travel and hard work, the kids would return to school. Just think how different eighth grade would be. There would be school yard stories of sales conferences, corporate mergers, contract negotiations, and stock options. But there would also be just as many stories of rude behavior, flight delays and lost luggage. I'll bet the kids would be thrilled to be back in school. They might even pay attention to some of the more interesting irregular verbs. Corporate America: a never ending supply of seventh graders awaits. Can we make this dream happen? Or are we all knees and no guts?
David McCoy, a notorious storyteller and proud Yellow Jacket, lives in Conyers. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.