Everyone asks at the beginning of each phone call and video conference right now, “how are you doing during this?” But are we waiting for the answer?  We are all going through this challenging time right now but it may look and feel very different to each one of us so we need to try to be mindful of the thoughts and feelings of others.  Some people have loved ones that have died, some are unexpectedly full time caretakers all day every day, other are facing job cuts and food insecurities, some are battling addictions and mental health struggles, others did not have a much anticipated and deserved graduation and so many are on the front lines fighting every day for all of those in hospitals, nursing homes and grocery stores to keep us safe from harm.  

“Social distancing” cannot mean social disconnectedness. More than ever, we need the value of connecting with neighbors and loved ones and we have to be more intentional about how to do that with each other.  September is Suicide Prevention Month so we need to support our own mental wellness as well as help others through the power of connectivity.

Look around and see what you can do in your community or among a common group.  People are being so creative — have you seen Tik Tok?  If that is not your speed, I know someone who is putting together a weekly care package for a small group with a different activity every week. 

Leave the house with intention to connect with someone with a smile or a nod even through your mask — they will see you smiling with your eyes.

Some things that we can do to stay connected at this time include:

• Join a walking or exercise challenge with friends from across the street or across the globe.

• Write a card, email or text just to let someone know you are thinking about them — better yet, pick up the phone and call someone you have not spoken with recently. 

• Cook or do a hobby together over videoconference.

• Take a picnic to the park — everyone can bring their own individual meal, take out their own garbage and maintain physical and safe distance.

When you ask the question of how someone is doing, I encourage you to really listen for the answer.  A friend, or even a stranger, may tell you how they are really feeling and provide you with an amazing opportunity to share a laugh or help them get through a challenging situation.  If you know someone who is struggling, learn what signs of suicide may look like and open yourself up to having a supportive conversation with someone.

Warning signs that indicate a need to take immediate action to support may include: 

• Talking about wanting to die or killing oneself.

• Looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online, obtaining a gun or storing medications. 

• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.

• Talking about being a burden to others.

• Giving away possessions or pets.

• Drastic changes in moods and behaviors, unexplained anger or irritability.

• Engaging in risky behaviors.

• Increasing drug or alcohol use.

Jennifer Wilds works with the Newton/Rockdale Suicide Prevention Coalition. If you need support, she can be reached at Jennifer.Wilds@vphealth.org, or call the Georgia COVID-19 Emotional Support Line: 866-399-8938, or the Georgia Crisis and Access Line: 800-715-4225.