Nice watches and I don’t get along anymore, and that’s just fine with me. No matter how much I’m tempted by their beauty, I’ll never again buy an expensive watch. I can’t stand to see another "precious timepiece" ruined because of a fried gizmo, jammed cog, or leaky seal. From now on, I’m going to adopt a friend’s idea. He goes for "cheap and disposable." My plan — "expensive and disposable" — just wasn’t very smart.

Once upon a time, I loved watches. I owned nice dress watches and snazzy casual ones. And although I had more watches than I needed, I was always looking for "just one more." Maybe I had a watch addiction. I did go sightseeing at a famous watch factory when I was in Geneva. I would have drooled on some of their beautiful watches, if they hadn’t been behind glass. Since I can kill a fancy watch just by touching it; I could only imagine the damage my saliva would do.

Well, all those nice watches are now dead. I accidentally brushed my arm against a stone column and scarred up an expensive Swiss beauty. Before I could get it repaired, its electronics shorted out. Well, I wasn’t going to pay 300 dollars to fix a 400 dollar watch. Two fancy American watches seized up just because I didn’t wear them for a whole decade. More than one watch filled up with water. Did you know "water resistant" doesn’t include a trip through the washing machine? Well, I’m getting off the fancy-watch merry-go-round. If I ever do get another nice watch, it’ll just be a matter of time before I break it, drown it, or burn up its guts. That’s just what I do.

Lately, I’ve been wearing an inexpensive watch that my son bought for my birthday, years ago. It’s actually a beautiful watch, and I matched it up with the fancy watchband from that burned-out, scratched up Swiss watch. I’ve received more compliments on that $12 watch than I’ve ever received on any other watch. I can get compliments for just 12 dollars? Well, I’ve finally seen the light. I don’t need expensive watches. Let the rock stars and investment bankers have them. My path in life is much simpler. I’m destined to buy cheap watches, put fancy watchbands on them, and then destroy them in my washing machine. That’s just what I do, so why not save a few bucks along the way?