It is my sad duty to tell you, dear readers, that I have once again been denied the Nobel Prize in Literature that I so richly deserve along with the 11 million Swedish krona, about $1 million, which I would have donated to my favorite charity -- me. And then there are the 81,380 nouns, verbs, present participles and all that other stuff I so deftly created over the past year for your reading pleasure down the tube.