I have no intention of writing a typical, schmaltzy, New Year's Eve column offering snappy resolutions for your consumption. If you need help in that department, may I suggest you examine your e-mails from this past year? I'll bet several people you know have each sent you at least 30 "Incredible!!!!!" pictures of kittens playing with yarn. Please reach out to those dear souls for help crafting a resolution or two. People who e-mail pictures of cats playing with yarn trust in resolutions. As for me, I've learned to avoid the whole hysteria of promises, new starts and second chances. I'm set in my ways, and no amount of January leaf-turning is going to change me. I believe real and significant change can only be initiated by a bad medical prognosis, a serious financial crisis, or a comprehensive restraining order. And I avoid all of those during the first few weeks of January.

Now, if I were to make a New Year's resolution, I supposed it would be, "I resolve to treat my body slightly better than I treat my car." This resolution won't work for everyone. Some of you treat your cars like rolling trash bins. You have different issues at play. Those of us who love our cars need to apply that same tender care to our own flesh-and-blood machines. My thyroid stopped working this year. My car dealer stocks new radiators, brakes and mufflers; however, my doctor can't get replacement thyroids. That was an eye-opening experience.

While we're at it, I suppose another resolution I would make is, "I resolve to spend more time with good friends." I just attended a fun luncheon with wonderful friends from my high school days. Thirty-one years have passed since graduation, but I've been fortunate enough to re-connect with these good people, some of whom I've known since elementary school. Why do we let good friends slip away? Is it because we get distracted by life and fail to see what's really important? Our friends are fresh, vibrant, and better than they ever were. Reach out to them now. Hey! That would be another good resolution, if I were to make one... Now, look what I've done! I promised I wasn't going to write about New Year's resolutions, and here I've given you some perfectly good ones! See why I don't do resolutions? They're easy to make, but impossible to keep. Happy resolution-free New Year!

David McCoy, a notorious storyteller and proud Yellow Jacket, lives in Conyers, can be reached at davmccoy@bellsouth.net.