When I was a little girl, I dreamed of what life would be like once I was all grown up. What type of castle would I live in? How many children would I have? What kind of job would I have and would it take me to faraway places? What would my Prince Charming look like? And most importantly- when would my boobs start growing?
I remember idolizing Cinderella as a child. She was so beautiful and well-mannered. Yes she did have some issues with those Ugly Stepsisters and Wicked Stepmother, but all in all, she had it pretty good. Even I would do a little house work for some fabulous footwear and a night out on the town with a handsome Prince! I wondered from time to time, as I danced around my room in my mother’s high heels (Payless didn’t sell glass slippers back in 1987), I wondered, would I ever get my fairytale ending like Cinderella did in the storybook?
Life has a very ironic sense of humor and what I wished for as a little girl, I got - sort of. However, my Prince Charming burps and thinks that it’s hilarious, stains the carpet with his work boots, leaves the toilet seat up, loses his wallet at least once a week, likes Trans Ams, Guns N Roses, and gets his life lessons from "South Park" and "Family Guy." My castle is less than 30 minutes away from where I grew up in Conyers (still waitin’ on those trips to faraway places) and instead of a golden carriage pulled by beautiful white horses – I have a sensible car and a moody cat that is unappreciative of my time and affection.
What I would like to see is a Cinderella Part Deux – with Cinderella cleaning cat throw up out of the carpet for the third time that week while conducting a conference call with a business partner on her cell phone; with the dishwasher going, the pre-heat bell on the oven dinging, while wearing a hot pink face mask, hair up in a scrunchy, and her call waiting chiming because Prince Charming can’t remember where HE put his work pants! Now that is a story I can relate to.
Did Cinderella ever think that she would one day be cleaning a massive hairball out of the drain in the shower that clearly did not belong to her? As Prince Charming was placing the glass slipper on her foot that faithful day, did she stop to think to herself, "I wonder if he has a 401k and good medical?" Of course not – and neither did I! I made my own version of what I dreamed of as a little girl into reality and the trick is to enjoy it and laugh about it every day.
I believe that there is a reason we are told these stories as children. We are taught lessons, we are taught right and wrong, and we are even taught how to make your dreams come true. My sort-of fairytale, as crazy as it is, has come true. Plus I get to keep the shoes.
Ashley Cash can be reached firstname.lastname@example.org