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Days of the Season
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Everyone knows about the Dog Days of Summer, those days when the air is as still as a portrait and the heat and humidity drains you just from putting on your socks. You wait with baited breath for a slight breeze to give you just a hint Fall is on the horizon and the muggy thick days of summer are waning.

But you seldom hear about these days: which I have christened the Cold Toilet Seat of Winter. The best days are usually lousy and the lousy days are really lousy. This is the time of year you have to fight the urge to buy a fuzzy toilet seat cover.

These are the days when the holidays are over and the hustle and bustle of routine is back upon us, but this routine is performed during gray grim days of February. When the sun appears on a clear cloudless day, giving you the sense that shorts and T-shirts are called for, it is a charade because the accompanying temperature calls for sweaters and overcoats.

The simple things cause grief during this time of year.

You fight to get out of bed and no matter how hot the shower it stills seems cold; the car warms up just about the time you get there; the sweater was fine in the morning but in the howling afternoon wind it is not nearly enough; you try to ignore invitations because you don’t want to go out at night; a rainy day is more debilitating than relaxing and the toilet seat is always cold.

There are some who enjoy the bracing days of Winter but even those invigorated by the cold are usually ready for February to end about a week before it does. Then comes March, which can be a cruel month, teasing us one day while crippling us the next, but by the end of the month we see signs of relief.

We don’t have the devastating cold of the north but ours is a deep chill that runs through your body and leaves a feeling of never being really warm.

No matter how we dress something feels cold. If our toes are warm, our nose will feel like a healthy Basset Hound; if our nose is warm, our ears feel like icicles hanging on a fence; if our ears are warm, our hands are numb; if our hands are warm, our feet are cold.

We look at the calendar and Memorial Day looks like it is decades away. We strike off each day with glee, fighting the urge that if we cross out two or three days at a time it will make Spring get here that much sooner.

Even those who are not superstitious and walk under ladders hold their breath and hope the groundhog doesn’t see his shadow.

Relief comes in the fact our winter will be over while others are still adding anti-freeze to their radiators.

But during the Cold Toilet Seat Days of February it is difficult to appreciate the fact our few weeks of misery are only a minor inconvenience compared to some.

So go ahead pull out the fuzzy toilet seat. You can throw it away in about six more weeks.