Hello dear readers. As a caveat, I am not a doctor, lawyer, priest, or psychologist … just an artist with a vivid imagination, and an opinion, just as the saying goes “opinions are like an a*****e, everyone has one!” This is just my opinion, so please read it with an open mind. I am 77.5 years old, so I am close to my “end date,” and can speak with a bit of knowledge on this topic. I may have one foot in the grave(1600’s thought) and one foot on a banana peel (1950’s thought). I did survive a copperhead bite at the age of 75, with a compromised immune system. My doctor asked me, “If you get bitten again, will you have antibodies?” I assured her” I do not want to find out!” Fifty thousand people die annually, worldwide, from snake bites and 1,000,000 from mosquito bites!!! I did come close to dying on July 16, 2022 when my own 4,000 pound car ran over me when I fell out of it, while reaching to pick up my copy of the Covington News. I do love the Covington News, but I’m not willing to die for it! Did that expression “to die for” come into mind, when I lay on the scorching pavement with 15 broken bones in extreme agony? Well, sorta. It was such a hot day that I received asphalt burns, while half comatose, awaiting a good Samaritan to find me. Ten minutes passed until a car stopped, and a terrified man approached me apprehensively, “do you want me to call an ambulance,” he asked. I weakly muttered “yes,” while thinking of all kinds of smartass replies, which I did not say to him. “Naw, I’m just chillin,” being one answer. “No thanks, I’m just practicing street yoga. This is just my savasna (corpse) pose.”
I was sure this was my death day, and I was talking to GOD, “please don’t let me die. I’m not mad at YOU. It was my own stupid fault. I think my back is broken, but that’s ok, I can still do art in a wheelchair.” Thank GOD, family and friends, hospital, PT, rehab etc., I survived that experience. I do not recommend doing that at home! When I retell that story, believe it or not, I have now heard stories of 38 people doing the same thing, so PSA here, always put your car in park, even with the brake on. And, actor Jeremy Renner did the same thing, but with a 14,000 pound snow plow. He survived after 30 surgeries. Nietzche said “ That which does not kill you makes you stronger.”
William Wallace (1270-1305), a Scotsman hero, said “Every man dies. Not every man lives.” Doctor Spock on Star Trek said, “Live long and prosper.” I hope we all do. In the past month alone, four amazing people I have known have died. A man 75, community servant, a woman 85, exemplary teacher, a woman 86, famous chef, and a wonderful doctor 94. At least they all lived rich full lives to a ripe old age. May they Rest in Peace.
Somehow talking about our mortality, our end date, our “good before” date, the day of reckoning, our death day, is avoided at all costs. Not to be discussed, thought about, pondered, considered, as if avoiding contemplation would make it vanish or never happen at all. I told my nurse practitioner last week what I was writing about. She replied, “Nope, Americans do NOT want to talk about it!”
Everyone who is born will die one day. It’s inevitable. It’s a fact of life. In the wheel of life, it’s birth, life, and death. You just don’t know when it will be. Would you want to know the day if you could? Would it help you to plan for it, complete your bucket list? I VIVIDLY recall seeing the April 18, 1992 episode of Saturday Night Live, near Easter/Passover with comedian Jerry Seinfeld portraying the prophet Elijah (who could foretell the future). He burst into a family Seder dinner, interrupting the evening. He yelled to the patriarch, “Cheer up Granpa, I’ll tell you a little secret….‘Sept. 24th, in your sleep.” I was astounded…whoa....great comedy, and I never forgot it. He got a “heads up” for his last day on earth. Would you want to know yours?
Having faith in GOD or a Higher Power can give comfort, guidance, strength, and a hope to meet that Being when you “cross over.” It’s not polite to say “die.” Euphemisms are used: “meet your maker,” perish, expire, over the hill, lose life, transition, kick the bucket, etc. My paternal grandmother died when I was 13. It never occurred to me that I would die one day, not even when I was 21, and my maternal grandmother died, “not gonna happen to me!” Would you choose how you will die? It’s up to our Creator and HE/SHE/THEY know the day.
Once, in a medieval court, the official jester displeased the king, and the king, offended, ordered “OFF WITH HIS HEAD!” He relented since he really liked the funny young jester, so he made a concession, “You WILL die, but because I like you so much, I will let you choose the method of death.” The king offered the choices of beheading, hanging, poisoning, the rack (torture), stabbing, being thrown off a cliff, starvation, etc. (no opioid crisis in those days, so no OD-ing), allowing the jester to ponder over each option. Then the jester tilted his head, put his hand over his heart and bowed to the king, declaring “Sire, these are all excellent ways to die. Thank you for considering them all for me.. but since you gave me a choice ..I think I will choose old age!” The king gasped, affronted, but realized that he had a wise jester to entertain him with his wit, and for a long time!
There was a 2014 comedy “A Million Ways to Die in the West” depicting the American West in 1882. Some ways were gunshot, hanging, knives, bar brawls, plague, shootouts, drunkenness, alcohol, drugs, even a rattlesnake in the outhouse. In another older movie, the comedy actor said “Dying is easy, Comedy is hard,” a famous line. In a Clint Eastwood movie, “Dying is easy.. it’s living that’s hard.” Mark Twain said, “I do not fear death. I have been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” Upon reading his obituary, he declared “reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” Would you write your own obit?? Hospice workers say that in the end-of-life conversations they hear repeatedly, there are usually five things people, even estranged people, say to one another:” please forgive me, I forgive you, I love you, thank you, goodbye.”
Are there things you wished to do, but never have? A friend whose husband suddenly dropped dead told me, “If there is a place you wanted to go, but never did, then go there! If there is something you always wanted to do, but never did, by all means do it!” And most importantly, “tell the people you love that you love them, over and over.”
In the 1989 Robin Williams film “Dead Poets Society,” he teaches his students about “Carpe Diem,” which is Latin for “seize the day.” The Roman poet Horace uttered those words in 23 B.C., “carpe diem quamminimum credula postero,” pluck the day, trusting as little as possible in the next one.” Make the most of each day. Life is short. Time is precious, waste it wisely. Life is for the living.
Everyone you know, including yourself, will die at some point. So, in the meantime, LIVE your best life. On any given day, over 150,000 die, worldwide. That’s 105 people per minute, every day, worldwide. But, even if you are dying and know death is coming, you are never prepared. In the 1957 (black and white) Bergman film, on a pebbled beach, there were 2 men. The one on the right was tall, with a pale face, wearing a black hooded robe. He told the other man, “I am Death. I have come to take you.”
“NO!” cried the other man, “I am not ready!” Death replied, “No one ever is.” Will Rogers, the American humor writer, penned this in 1935, “When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.” A preacher once told me, “It can be quick or it can be slow. Trust me, quick is better. Slow is hard on the dying one, quick is hard on the ones left behind.” From personal experience, I tend to agree, as my Mother suffered slowly for 2 years, but my Father died tragically in minutes.
Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) has been celebrated in Mexico for over 3,000 years. These ceremonies honor death as a natural part of the cycle of life. Altars, food, rituals, dancing, and parades are remembrances of friends and family who have died. It is a very joyous and colorful tradition, not sad!
Some famous last words from famous people:
• Marie Antoinette: “Pardon me sir,” as she inadvertently stepped on her executioner’s foot.
• Bob Marley: “Money can’t buy life.”
• Frido Kahlo: “I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to return.”
• Bessie Smith: “I’m going, but I’m going in the name of the Lord.”
• Queen Elizabeth 1: “All my possessions for a moment of time.”
• Leonard Nimoy: “A life is like a garden, perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory” LLAP
• Albert Einstein (said in German): “I am at the mercy of fate and have no control over it.”
• Frank Sinatra: “I’m losing it.”
• Richard Nixon: “Help.”
• Archimedes (to the soldier who killed him): “Stay away from my diagram. Don’t disturb my circle”.
• Leonardo da Vinci: “I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.” ( can you believe that?... one of the greatest artists ever to live on this earth!)
• Steve Jobs: “Oh, wow. Oh, wow, oh, wow.”
• Roald Dahl: “ You know, I’m not frightened. It’s just that I will miss you all so much.”
• Michael Jackson: “milk” (propofol).
• George Washington: “Tis well.”
• Beethoven: “Friends, applaud. The comedy is finished.”
• Humphrey Bogart: “I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.”
• Jack Daniels: “One last drink please.”
• Thomas Edison: “It is very beautiful over there.”
• Napoleon Bonaparte: “France, the army, head of the army, Josephine” (they were divorced for 7 years, and she predeceased him by 7 years).
• Carl Jung: “Let’s have a really good wine tonight.”
• Malcolm X: “ Peace.”
• Todd Beamer: “Let’s Roll.”
• Richard Simmons: “Let me fly you to the moon so we can gaze among the stars.”
• Alfred Hitchcock: “ One never knows the ending: One has to die to know exactly what happens after death. Although, Catholics have their hopes.”
• John Jacob Astor (aboard the Titanic) to his wife: “ The sea is calm. You’ll be alright. You’re in good hands. I’ll see you in the morning.”
• Edgar Allan Poe: “ Lord help my poor soul.”
• Groucho Marx: “ Die, my dear? Why that’s the last thing I’ll do!”
• Erroll Flynn: “I’ve had a hell of a lot of fun and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.”
• Jimi Hendrix: “The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye. The story of love is hello and goodbye. Until we meet again”( poem found after his death).
• Joe DiMaggio: “I’ll finally get to see Marilyn.”
• Charlie Chaplain (after the priest said “May the Lord have mercy on your soul”).. “Why not? After all, it belongs to Him.”
• Bing Crosby: “That was a great game of golf, fellas.”
• Heavy D: “Be inspired.”
• John Dillinger: “ You got me.”
• Roger Ebert: “I’ll see you at the movies.”
• Babe Ruth: “ I’m going over the valley.”
• Sam Kinison (age 38, in a car crash, by a drunk 17 year old): “ Why now? I don’t want to die. Why? Bystanders said he looked up at Heaven and said “Oh, Okay.”
• John Wilkes Booth: “Useless,.. useless.”
• Henry Ward Beecher: “Now comes the Mystery.”
• James Brown: “I’m burning up, burning up.”
• Ingrid Bergman “Do I look alright? Give me my brush and make- up.”
• Charles Schulz: ‘’Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy. How can I ever forget them?”
• Salvador Dali: “Where is my clock?”
• Thomas Hobbs: “I am about to take my last voyage. A great leap in the dark”
• George Harrison: “Love one another”
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Some thoughts from ordinary people that I know/ knew……..
• Harriet: “I would rather die of a scorpion bite than in a urine soaked wheelchair.”
• Jeff: “My brother lamented ,’God has forsaken me! Mother died.’” Their Mother was 85, a great life, died softly in her sleep. Jeff responded: “Are you serious?! That is a blessing. That is the best way to go!”
• A man to his pastor, while dying in the hospital said, “this is like getting on a great big plane, about to take off on a great big flight.”
• Catherine: “How long does this take? I can’t wait to meet my Maker!”
• Homer: “Death is easy, it’s the dying that’s hard”
• Sandra “it’s another journey, for sure”.
• Older lady: “I want to die in the bed of a younger man”
• Pastor: “I want to preach my last sermon, sit down, then go”
• In 1956, to an 8 year old girl, by an old preacher: “if you ain’t right with God, better get right! If you is right with God, stay right!”
• A tree service at my house: “When you leave the house in the morning you better be right with God, cause if you ain’t, you’re liable to meet Him.” (uncle felled by a tree at work)
• Covington doctor to his elderly patients: “You are crumbling on schedule.”
• Ann’s Mother to her: “You don’t wake up dead, it’s a process.”
• Jack, dying in hospital, to his wife: “Do you see them? The ANGELS! All Around!”
• S: “Any day above ground is a good day.”
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Some other famous lines about death (not necessarily on their deathbed):
• Gandhi: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
• Emiliano Zapata (a former slave): “It is better to die on your feet than to live a lifetime on yourknees.”
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A parting, no pun intended, thought: “Life’s journey is not to arrive safely at the grave, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, in a cloud of smoke, shouting Holy Cow, what a ride!!!!!!!!!,” a quote adapted form Hunter S. Thompson, whose ashes were sent up in 2005 in a $3 million rocket by Johnny Depp, who portrayed him in 2 movies.
My dear friend Maria S. in Greece died slowly, for a long time, before Covid. At that time, cremation was not allowed in Greece. Her son paid a man to drive her coffin to Bulgaria, wait while she was cremated, then drive her ashes back to Greece, while playing her favorite song the entire journey which was, surprisingly, “The Yellow Rose of Texas.” After covid, with over a million deaths in a country of only 10 million people, cremation is now allowed.
In the country of Sweden, they practice “döstädning,” which means “death cleaning.” While you are still able, and in your older years, clear out all your junk, declutter, give away items, plan and prepare for the inevitable, etc., so that your children and heirs are not stuck doing it! It is very freeing… as I am doing it myself! Try it!
P.S. I know that you are ‘drop dead gorgeous’ and I hope you die laughing!
Peace,
Carol Veliotis
Carol Veliotis is a local columnist for The Covington News. She can be reached at carol.veliotis@gmail.com.
