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To the zealots who stole my Obama sign
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Dear Editor: I figured they probably didn’t look on it as stealing, more as a practical joke, when late Friday night they took my Obama sign off its frame and replaced it with a McCain/Palin one. That’s a good one. Having watched their convention, I can see their sense of humor is on par with their dancing ability. (OK, to be fair, raising their hands over their heads and swaying back and forth was major physical activity for most of those folks, a lot of whom hadn’t moved that much since the Charleston was the rage).

 So it was more of a swap than a theft, a sign for a sign, although at first I did feel that I’d been robbed, sort of as if they’d taken my Mickey Mantle card and left me a Barry Bonds, but as I examined my new sign I warmed to the trade. I discovered that by duct-taping over a letter or two and adding a few more, my new sign could advance political discourse. By noon it on one side read, Our M AIN PA IN IS, and the other side said, McCAIN equals PA IN.

 I liked my new sign and was developing high hopes for this cross-cultural exchange program. Perhaps it could extend beyond signs. Maybe they could take my old Saab, which has seen better days, and leave me a Republican car, maybe a Lincoln Navigator. I could use it as a guest house.

 So it was with a lighter heart that I awoke Sunday morning to play with my sign, planning on changing it to read, Four More Years IN PA IN, only to discover they’d stolen my new sign and left me none.

 So much for the sense of humor.

 Coming soon, Part II: We Know Who You Are.

Ellis Millsaps