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CARROLL: Columnist spends time wishfully thinking out loud
David Carroll
David Carroll is a news anchor for WRCB in Chattanooga, Tenn.

A good friend of mine who happens to be an Atlanta Falcons fan frequently tells me, “Aim low, and you’ll never be disappointed.”

If only I could.

As an eternal optimist, I have a wish list a mile long. Sure, most of my wishes will never come true. But that won’t stop me.

I wish Major League Baseball owners and players would think as much about fans as they do about themselves. From little kids to senior citizens, some folks look forward to spring each year, just to hear the crack of the bat, and to see their overpaid heroes slide into second base and dive into the outfield grass. It’s too bad that baseball has fallen into the wrong hands. A 153-year tradition is fading away.

I wish President Biden would own up to the fact that he needs reading glasses. Honestly, Joe, most of us do too. We won’t hold it against you. It’s hard to watch you speak to the nation squinting as if you’re facing the bright morning sun.

I wish former President Trump would listen more and talk less. It has been widely reported by many members of his administration that he usually ignored their grounded, common sense advice. If he gets another chance, I hope he will follow their guidance.

I wish more Americans would support our government during the Russia-Ukraine crisis. Unfortunately, a few loose-screw members of Congress and some cable network opinion hosts have convinced some folks that cheering for Putin is a good idea. Does anyone really think that would end well?

I wish fewer Americans were openly hoping Biden fails. I get it: they didn’t want him to win. Many of the presidential candidates I’ve supported in my lifetime didn’t win either. Still, I have wanted every president to succeed. Inevitably, they all failed at one time or another. Then at the end of their four-year term, we decided whether to keep them, or reject them. At this moment in time, it’s kind of important that our current president makes the right moves. I hope he does, for our sake.

I wish political candidates would start appealing to people’s best instincts, instead of their worst.

I wish multi-millionaire political candidates would stop posing with the ball caps, plaid shirts, hunting vests, and rifles. You’re law and order, we get it. Just dress like you do when you’re strolling the grounds of your gated neighborhood.

I wish voters would stop falling for the ball cap and plaid shirt routine.

I wish every president had as much control over gas prices as people think they do. If so, gas would always be cheap, wouldn’t it? Speaking of that, I wish gas prices would fall as quickly as they rise.

I wish that anyone who causes a distraction at the State of the Union would have to abide by middle school rules of behavior. If you act up, you’re escorted out by the principal, and will have to run 10 laps around the Capitol. This applies to all: from the lowliest members of Congress with no committee assignments, to the Speaker of the House.

I wish both major political parties would provide a presidential candidate I want to vote “for.” In recent years, I just to wanted to vote “against” someone. (How about you?)

I wish television viewing options could be simplified. I should be able to find the shows I want, and operate a remote control without earning a degree from MIT.

I wish whoever designs the next gas container I buy for mower gas will stop trying to drive me crazy. Those instructions also require an advanced degree.

I wish the college football national championship game would always be played on a Friday or Saturday night. 

I know, this is all truly wishful thinking. As John Lennon sang so memorably, “You can say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one.”

David Carroll is a Chattanooga TV news anchor. You may contact him at RadioTV2020@yahoo.com.