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The Alcovy Telegraph: Correspondence from your trusted Correspondent
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Hello, C-town! And we sure hope its lovely out there for everyone. In addition to being a proud member of the Tonto Network, I've mentioned a few other resources we utilize to bring y'all the word around town. There's the chief consultants, naturally, and then also the focus group, the Steering Committee, and also a couple of sub-committees. But, as the old saying goes with other professions - lawyers sometimes need lawyers, doctors need doctors, etc. - correspondents do need other correspondents, and we're proud to add our first one here at the ole Telegraph. 

Miss Kayla Leasure - Correspondent KayKay - will be helping us to really get plugged into the vortex, to truly get our finger on the pulse on all things COV and Newton, and we're all just so excited about it. Also, I look at Kayla as our perspective into the whole "millennial" phenomenon. Like, for instance, she has - somewhat constructively - offered what may be a fair criticism about me writing in circles, overusing hyperbole & adding at least a bit of fluff & filler w/ these pieces.

"I idea what you're talking about, Ma'am," I responded.

- us younger people, we want to get the big picture, fast. We don't want the filler and flowing words - we're in a hurry & time is of the essence. Plus, our attention spans are very limited -

This is basically what she said to me. Sounds pretty much right on the button to me.

Well, fantabulous readers, let's break out the four-piece string section - these poor younger people just read things a little differently than we do and perhaps it is somewhat on us to try to help to...straighten the curves, so to speak, or to round those edges a bit for these wonderful, precious & possibly semi-weird twenty-somethings. Well, again, as we've said before, we are here to help and we aim to please, so let's see what we can do!

Another possible criticism from the younger generation's view is that I always spend at least a fair amount of time at the beginning of article, supposedly, not really talking about much of anything. We're definitely going to be working on that. For sure. We're so on that. 

And I promised that I wouldn't talk about the column name this time around. Though, just for the record, we are on our fourth working title in as many weeks. Tonto had "The Covington Crier," last week's column name, on the winning side of a 58/42 split. Now, sure, that's a good split. You'll take that all day long in a political race. Well north of that magical 50 point plus 1, but we were really hoping for at least a 65/35 on the CC & it just didn't happen. We were, frankly, a little disappointed, but hey - that's just life. We move forward, do we not? Boats against the current, trying to do the things we need to do. Let us know about "The Alcovy Telegraph" with either a handwritten note to The News on Usher Street, or via smoke signals. 

After Hours  

This Saturday, May the 27th, Lahrceny Tavern in Porterdale will be hosting the one & only Amy Rae. Gang, as I've mentioned multiple times, this girl is on fire! A superb voice and with great songwriting chops, she also has a top-notch band led by Joe Duke and Jonah. Also, I finally got to meet Amy in person the other day after having spoken on the phone with her a few times. She was as sweet as a Georgia Summer's rain. Just truly a very pleasant young lady. We're a fan, and we're expecting big things from this talented artist. Saturday's performance, as they will do from time to time, is a smoke-free evening down at the Tavern in the loveliest of lovely mill villages. 

Per usual, a ton of other great stuff going on. Check out Xavier's music fix for more info on more shows. 

The Arts

I mentioned her name is passing in The Sunday Buffet almost a month ago, but Elise Hammond, thy brothers & sisters, what a glorious talent! She may be the greatest pure painter that I've ever seen. And did you know that you commission her to do portraits? She's a member of the Southern Heartland guild, southwest corner of the Square.

Food, Dining & Shopping 

We've covered food almost exclusively in this space the last several weeks, so I think I'd like to shift gears to shopping for this edition & I'd like to talk about Blair on the Square and its wonderful proprietor, Ms. Angie Blair. And I may be just a tad biased because she is my 4th Cousin, after all - she of the Mansfield Spears, and I of my McCarts, who married into the Broughton Wagners who had married into the aforementioned Spears - but she and her shop are just fabulous. I really like the shampoo bars she carries. It's just right for my beard. For years I always bemoaned the fact that regular shampoo was just too much, but then regular bar soap was not quite enough for my hirsute style. Well, this shampoo bar was a real revelation for me, friends - a true guiding light...

She also just has a ton of wonderful clothes. Mainly women's offerings, but it's just magnificent. You ladies get all the good stuff - having babies, the regular visit from Mother Nature, and all that fancy clothing. Y'all are so fortunate. But yes - Blair on the Square, the centerpiece of the east side of the Square. Very nice place.

Local Happenings; Miscellany & What-not

There's a battle on for the heart & soul of our neck of the woods, friends, and I'm not stretching it here. Lots of oddities and strange goings-on. There's something maybe a little rotten in the primary political subdivision of Georgia that is Newton Co. - that beautiful & glorious lady that we all love and call home.

What about these tax appraisals? Some folks are paying way below market value but then others - way above market value. It ain't right; we all know the score. We got the memo.

And what of ju$tice (sic) in our society - right here in good ole Newton, GA, USA. Feds are in the house, friends, we've got FEDS destroying families, ruining lives & raising that revenue just for some folks trying to self-medicate for some legitimate pain management who can't afford to see a doctor or pay for a full prescription, which, by the way, they most likely wouldn't have gotten the prescription for anyway because we seem to be trying to ruin our country in every possible way these days. My word, ain't that just America? Seems to be for these days. And it's happening right here in the home county. They're also violating the US Constitution & violating civil rights left and right. Per the word, nobody, including at least two Alcovy circuit judges, or the Sheriff, are overly impressed with any of it. You know who else isn't impressed? Your ole pal, Marshall B. McCart.

Things are not as they should be, and that's why we need to fix it. We need to be the change we wish to see. I'm ready. Are you?

Hope it's the best week ever, and we'll look forward to seeing you all right back here next week.