I'm at my desk, looking at all my prescriptions. Here's one I started when my thyroid went on strike; here's one for my cholesterol; and here's one that all newspaper humor columnists are required to take. How did this happen? When I was a kid, I used nothing stronger than half a baby aspirin. When I had my tonsils out, I think I got a whole one. We just weren't a pill-popping family. Now, I'm surrounded by prescription medicines that promise me a longer and healthier life, if I'll just swallow it all ...
In innocent days of youth, I met the first fellow who might have been considered a "boyfriend" at the FFA-FHA Camp just south of town. He lived in Bethlehem, so when camp ended, we went our separate ways with pledges to write often until our paths would cross again. On Rural Free Delivery Route Four, the mail came about 11 a.m., so I'd sneak away from home about then and hang on the front fence line waiting for the mail carrier. The boy's letters were consumed voraciously as I trudged up that long driveway home, relishing every ...
Everybody needs a guru. Someone you can go to whenever you find yourself stuck on the horns of a moral dilemma. Some climb the mountain tops of Nepal to sit before an old guy wrapped in a bed sheet and listen to him prattle about inner beauty.
My sister called me the other day. You remember her. She is the one who wrote the orange juice company about less calories. She had been watching television and saw an advertisement for a car. I am paraphrasing, but the car had more power, more electronics and less doors.
I have a big problem with the truth. No, it's not what you think. I'm too honest. If you ask me if you "look like a whale" in that new dress, you'd better get back in the tank and swim to the other side. Because, if you do look plump in pink, I'll hem and haw, and I'll comment on your hair, shoes, or nail polish, but if you push me, I'm going to say something about your excess weight. So, it's best to stop as soon as I mention your lovely new ...
Are you frustrated with the American government? If so, then you are not alone. According to Gallup's annual governance survey, you have more company than usual. "A record-high 81 percent of Americans are dissatisfied with the way the country is being governed," said the poll, which was released Monday.
October 02, 2011|
More than any other season, fall traditionally sends me on a hunt for two or three new items to flesh out the wardrobe for a change in weather. Summer clothes are notoriously short-lived, but winter clothes seem to last forever and just a few additions can revitalize the woolen wear and turtlenecks.
In case you were rearranging your sock drawer and missed the big announcement, filmmaker Michael Moore, who is about as relevant as a female appendage on a boar hog, is asking "all Americans with a conscience to shun anything and everything to do with the murderous state of Georgia." I can hear the shudders from Aragon to Zebulon.