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Archive By Author - David McCoy


A new game for long summer drives

Do you remember all the games we played on long car trips, back when we were kids? Did you play the alphabet game, where you looked for words on road signs? "A - Atlanta! B - Bathrooms!" Or maybe you played the license plate game. "I see one from Michigan!" Games are great when you're a kid. But, a good car game can make the trip go a lot faster for the adults, too. Well, since we're knee-deep into summer, and many of you are about to drive across the country in kid-infested minivans, I've developed a cool, new ...

July 09, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION


Not cut out for black leather pants

When I told my wife that I was writing a column about something I'd never own, she gave me that line about never saying never. So, I explained that I was talking about a pair of black leather pants. She stopped eating, looked across the table, and said, "OK. You've got a good point." She remembers my black-leather-pants period, and she knows it's a sore subject. I'm never going to own a pair of black leather pants. Not even for a weekend.

May 07, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION


The dangers of under-aged shaving

Recently, my youngest son looked at me, rubbed his face and said, "I need to start shaving." I tried not to snicker, but then he's only 11 years old. While he might have a whisker or two hiding on his face, there's no way he's ready for a sharp blade and a handful of foam. Besides, I remember all too well what it was like when I took up shaving at the ancient age of 14. He's way too young for that kind of carnage and blood loss.

April 23, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION


Certain in my uncertainty

Are you normally a pessimist or an optimist? I say "normally" because I don't know too many optimists right now, what with our current economic, political and social mess. But, think back to when things were normal - like when you were polishing your brand new '57 Chevy. Were you an optimist back then, or were you a pessimist? It's something to think about. Personally, I've concluded that I might be a borderline optimist with just a dash of pessimism. Or, I might be a mild pessimist with heavy traces of optimism. I'm just not sure. I ...

April 16, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION


The appeal of an inflatable gorilla

During graduate school, I had to take a marketing course - an insipid class that I hated completely and thoroughly. Yet, despite that forced march, I must confess my demented fondness for automotive advertisements. The various dealer ads fascinate me, even if I don't understand how they can possibly lead to increased sales. Maybe if I'd paid more attention in class, I might understand some of the insanity that goes on down at the car lot. I understand the hotdogs and hamburgers, the flags and banners, and the giveaways: that's all easy. But I don't understand why ...

April 02, 2010 | David McCoy | Columnists


How not to repair a garage door

It's a fact: I don't like to pay someone else to do something that I can do better. Well, at least that's the theory. The reality is that I'm cheap, and I hate to let my money go on long trips without me. So, I often repair things that I should never mess with, just to save a few bucks. A classic example of my penny-pinching foolishness dates from about 1986, when I tried to repair my own garage door.

March 12, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION


Fighting socialism in the depths of winter

It's freezing cold down here in Dixie! Listen, I fully expect the South to be humid and hot, balmy and breezy, and stifling and sticky, but nowhere did I sign up for frigid and frozen. We southerners will tolerate an occasional ice storm or that rare centimeter or two of snow, but weather like we've had for the past few months is nuts. The only solution to this craziness is to learn to control the weather ourselves. We try to control the economy, our destiny, and our kids, why can't we take on the weather? Would it ...

February 12, 2010 | David McCoy | Our Thoughts


Have you ever been to your own funeral

I'm not afraid of dying, but I assure you I'm in no rush to prove that point to anyone. So, you can imagine how I reacted years ago when I visited a nice, grassy cemetery plot I'd just acquired and found a freshly-dug grave, all decked out for a funeral. Earlier that week, I'd accepted the plot as a benefit of church membership and had considered it a rather nice gesture. However, I didn't recall a "use it or lose it" clause in the deal. This particular denomination isn't known for those kinds of ...

January 08, 2010 | David McCoy | Our Thoughts


Pecan Pie for the Mind: The last hair style I'll ever need

I've had only a few hairstyles in my entire 49 years. As a grade-schooler - during the heyday of the hippies - I was saddled with the classic barbershop buzz-cut. Even though I was only in the first grade as the "Summer of Love" commenced, I sensed something violently wrong with my shorn locks. So, I pleaded and begged, and by sixth grade, I had convinced my parents that a few less "inches off the top" and a "groovy" sideburn or two wouldn't corrupt our good family name. By middle school, I was sporting a greasy mop, sideburns (actually, just ...

December 25, 2009 | David McCoy | OPINION


What I would change about the South

Now settle down! I didn't say there was anything wrong with The South; I just have some ideas for a few improvements here and there. Put down that fire place poker, listen up, and see what you think. If you agree with me, we can get a petition going and send it up to the governor's mansion in time for Christmas.

December 18, 2009 | David McCoy | OPINION


Pecan Pie for the Mind: The decline of Southern civilization

Our civilization here in the South is dying on the vine. I'm quite sure of it. Look around and see if you don't agree with my assessment of the sorry state of society. It's just gotten pitiful, and I want some answers: Where are our next quilts coming from, why can't we fix our own cars anymore, and how come our kids can't make a living collecting pop bottles by the side of the road? Tell me how we can ever be the same without these joys of southern life.

We have six or seven ...

November 27, 2009 | David McCoy | OPINION


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