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Archive By Author - David McCoy

Packing for vacation

I bet you're about to hit the beach for your annual summer vacation! Well, I am too, and I know the secret to a successful trip.

June 12, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists

A hard-boiled case when it comes to okra

It's gardening time in Georgia, and some of my friends are sharing pictures of tomatoes, peppers, squash and all the other plants they're growing in their backyards. I love to see all this home gardening, but thankfully, I haven't seen any pictures of okra plants. Before I tell you about my hatred for okra, I'd better explain a bit about the proper pronunciation. It wasn't until I was in college that I learned that the itchy pods that we grew each year were pronounced "OAK-RAH." I grew up saying "OAK-REE," and I'd usually pronounce ...

June 05, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists

No discipline to be a disciple

Do you remember the Bible verses about Peter denying Christ three times, or the disciples arguing about seating arrangements up in Heaven, or the time they fell asleep while they should have been praying? How do most good folks react, when they hear about someone who disappointed Jesus? Some of them get high-and-mighty, pretty quickly. "Oh, I wouldn't have let Christ down! No sir! Not me! I'd have marched up to those Roman soldiers, and said, 'You want my savior? Well, you'll have to take me first!' That's what I would have said, praise God!"

May 29, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists

How to act crazy and get away with it

It's 2011, and we're being rocked by earthquakes, tornados, financial crises and bloody revolutions in the third world. If there were ever a time to completely lose all of your senses and run around town acting nuts, now is as good a time as any. Just in the past two days, I've seen signs that "crazy" is becoming the new norm. While driving down one of our major roads, I passed a man who was waving his arms and screaming at some invisible antagonist. Later, I walked out of a building and saw another man having an ...

May 18, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists

McCoy: Dreams of school nightmarish

I've had enough shocks and scares to script an entire lifetime's worth of nightmares. Once, while walking in the woods, I stumbled upon a coiled snake, just staring at me and daring me to come closer. Another time, I slipped off a log and fell into a creek on an icy February afternoon. Then, there was that one Easter night when a drunk driver slammed into the family Ford Galaxy, right as we were turning into our driveway. Stepping on rattlesnakes, falling in a freezing creek, and being rammed by another car are themes worthy of the worst ...

May 12, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists

No firearms needed for this hunt

Ice cream hunting season is almost here. I'm so excited! During winter, all the ice cream migrates down to Miami where it congregates in retired autoworkers' refrigerators until it's safe to return home. Sadly some of the ice cream will never make it to Georgia. If you wonder why that happens, just look at the average retired autoworker's stomach. Mother

April 17, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists

The man’s guide to the laundry room

The washer and dryer are two of the biggest and most dangerous machines anyone can own. So, why do most guys avoid the laundry room like they avoid a Tupperware party? I think it's because most men don't see the washer and dryer as "power tools." Well, that's got to change. Our wives would appreciate some help with the laundry, so I'm going to teach you how to operate those gigantic monsters.

November 10, 2010 | David McCoy | Columnists

When preachers turn funny

Life used to be so simple. Preachers delivered fire and brimstone visions of Hades to scare the pants off people, and comedians pulled down their pants to make people laugh like... well, you know. Both sides lived by the rule that preachers don't throw pies and comedians don't do funerals, but that's all over. My own preacher, Dr. John Beyers, is as good a minister as you'll ever meet, but he's got a character flaw that just galls me: He's funny and he makes people laugh. Well, as a humorist, I'm deeply offended ...

October 08, 2010 | David McCoy | Columnists

Time for a cheap watch

Nice watches and I don't get along anymore, and that's just fine with me. No matter how much I'm tempted by their beauty, I'll never again buy an expensive watch. I can't stand to see another "precious timepiece" ruined because of a fried gizmo, jammed cog, or leaky seal. From now on, I'm going to adopt a friend's idea. He goes for "cheap and disposable." My plan - "expensive and disposable" - just wasn't very smart.

September 17, 2010 | David McCoy | Columnists

Cologne by the six pack

I love to smell fine fragrances. Wear chic French perfume around me and I'll sniff the air and try to guess which movie star you're pretending to be. Give me a scratch-and-sniff cologne sample and I'll wear my fingernail down as I scratch up the sweet aroma. But if you apply too much fragrance, I'll turn red and make gagging noises in your direction. I can't help it. I have a sensitive nose, and some people just don't know when to stop spraying, splashing and misting.

September 10, 2010 | David McCoy | Columnists

Murder, mayhem and an old song

Do you ever wonder why children aren't completely insane by the time they're adults?

August 06, 2010 | David McCoy | Columnists

A new game for long summer drives

Do you remember all the games we played on long car trips, back when we were kids? Did you play the alphabet game, where you looked for words on road signs? "A - Atlanta! B - Bathrooms!" Or maybe you played the license plate game. "I see one from Michigan!" Games are great when you're a kid. But, a good car game can make the trip go a lot faster for the adults, too. Well, since we're knee-deep into summer, and many of you are about to drive across the country in kid-infested minivans, I've developed a cool, new ...

July 09, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION

Not cut out for black leather pants

When I told my wife that I was writing a column about something I'd never own, she gave me that line about never saying never. So, I explained that I was talking about a pair of black leather pants. She stopped eating, looked across the table, and said, "OK. You've got a good point." She remembers my black-leather-pants period, and she knows it's a sore subject. I'm never going to own a pair of black leather pants. Not even for a weekend.

May 07, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION

The dangers of under-aged shaving

Recently, my youngest son looked at me, rubbed his face and said, "I need to start shaving." I tried not to snicker, but then he's only 11 years old. While he might have a whisker or two hiding on his face, there's no way he's ready for a sharp blade and a handful of foam. Besides, I remember all too well what it was like when I took up shaving at the ancient age of 14. He's way too young for that kind of carnage and blood loss.

April 23, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION

Certain in my uncertainty

Are you normally a pessimist or an optimist? I say "normally" because I don't know too many optimists right now, what with our current economic, political and social mess. But, think back to when things were normal - like when you were polishing your brand new '57 Chevy. Were you an optimist back then, or were you a pessimist? It's something to think about. Personally, I've concluded that I might be a borderline optimist with just a dash of pessimism. Or, I might be a mild pessimist with heavy traces of optimism. I'm just not sure. I ...

April 16, 2010 | David McCoy | OPINION

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