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Articles By Author - David McCoy


We're all fat now

When I was a kid, I was beyond skinny. I was a beanpole, a stick, a rail of a boy who could eat and eat ...

June 28, 2015 | David McCoy | LIVING


Lower your windows

We live in sealed houses, ride in sealed cars, shop in sealed stores and generally live our lives isolated from the ugly, mean, cruel outdoors ...

June 14, 2015 | David McCoy | LIVING


My shampoo doesn't trust me

Okay. I know shampoo isn't a sentient product with a mind of its own, so we can both agree that any statement about it ...

May 31, 2015 | David McCoy | LIVING


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Archive By Author - David McCoy


McCoy: A bungling burglar

Before we start, let me state that I am not now, nor have I ever been a professional burglar. I don't believe in taking something that doesn't belong to me. Heck, I've even had a tough time retrieving things that do belong to me. But, if I were to suddenly find myself shoehorned into a life of criminal trespass, breaking and entering and general mischief, I'd be arrested on the first day out. While watching cop shows in the 1970s, I learned that burglary takes a certain level of skill with ladders, an expertise with crawling ...

September 24, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


My secret life as a cashier

Grocery shopping has become a frustrating experience. It's not that it's hard to find wonderful items to buy, not with all the great choices in the stores. I'm a smart shopper. I buy fruits, and juices, and healthy veggies; I'm an angel in the meat department, just looking at the ribeye steaks and not poking them too much; and I'm especially careful to close my eyes in the candy and cookie aisle. My problem isn't with the actual shopping itself. I always find great things to eat. What dismays me is the self-service checkout ...

September 18, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


McCoy: David’s etiquette advice

Etiquette is a hard word to spell. It's French, and I'm pretty lousy with their language, even though I love their cheese, and I almost bought a new Peugeot back in 1987, right before they pulled out of the US car market. That was close. Anyway, I've reviewed a few etiquette columns, and I think I'll try my hand at one. A guy's perspective is just what we need to balance all those dainty responses I've read. Here goes.

September 11, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


Who is smarter?

I never watched his TV show, "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader," but I've always liked Jeff Foxworthy, especially since he's a Georgia Tech man. We Tech guys think we're pretty smart, but tonight I wasn't so sure how I'd stack up against one of those 5th graders. You see, I was driving home, and I drove right past my house. I suppose -on one hand - I'm smarter than a 5th grader, because I can drive a car. Let's see a little kid do that. But, a 5th grader would be smart ...

September 04, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


The unfair truth about panty hose

It takes a lot of guts or a lot of stupidity to bring up the topic of women's panty hose; but I'm going to do it anyway and address a simple wardrobe question to the ladies. "Women, how do you feel after you buy a brand new pair of panty hose and get a ruinous run in them before they're even a day old?" Has that happened to you, before? I hear that's a common experience you ladies face. You spend five or six bucks, you go about your daily business, you snag something, you look ...

August 28, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


Science Fiction has it all wrong

I love science fiction, but I've noticed the genre often misses some obvious elements of the future. The authors write about space ships, ray guns, teleportation and aliens, but they seem to blow it when it comes to three common themes: tailoring, trash and tattoos.

August 21, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


Worth your weight in gold?

People love cliches like, "He's worth his weight in gold!" I'll bet we've all used that famous phrase when we wanted to praise someone or something. We'll say things like, "My fancy, new cordless electric drill is worth its weight in gold," even though no one would be dumb enough to pay that much for one as long as Sears is still in business. Still, it seems perfectly acceptable to compare things to gold. Gold is rare and valuable. It wouldn't do to use a measure of questionable value, would it? Would you say, "My ...

August 07, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


Two letters to George Washington

Dear President Washington: You don't know me, but you're one of my heroes. I used to keep lots of pictures of you in my wallet, but things got so expensive that I had to use most of them at the grocery store. Anyway, I thought I'd write to tell you about the big mess we're in right now. You always were a smart and courageous leader, and I was hoping you could pop back for a few days and give Congress and our current president some advice. They don't seem to have much experience with ...

July 31, 2011 | David McCoy | News Columnists


McCoy: Mistaken memories

Somewhere, in one of your closets or in your basement, do you have a big box of "sentimental" items that you just can't part with? Until last week, I had three big containers of cards, letters, articles, drawings, awards, and all the trappings of a history that I wanted to keep for posterity. And there were more photographs than I could count. I suppose I could have kept the tubs in a closet until I was in a nursing home. "Oh, did you see Mr. McCoy's collection of antique Christmas cards? They are really, really old!" Well, that ...

July 17, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


McCoy: Moving mistakes

When did moving become so difficult? In college, I could pack everything I owned in my little MG and move from dorm to apartment to home with no sweat. Fifteen years later, I packed the barest of necessities in a new Volvo and moved to Tennessee. Well those easy days are gone. We just moved, and it took two huge trucks and more boxes than I could count. We packed, we packed some more, and then we got down to serious packing. It was time consuming to fill all those boxes, but I did learn some new packing tips that ...

July 10, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


Goodbye to an Italian beauty

Maybe it's a general character flaw shared by many, but I hate to get rid of a cherished old car, no matter how much trouble it causes me.

June 19, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


Packing for vacation

I bet you're about to hit the beach for your annual summer vacation! Well, I am too, and I know the secret to a successful trip.

June 12, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


A hard-boiled case when it comes to okra

It's gardening time in Georgia, and some of my friends are sharing pictures of tomatoes, peppers, squash and all the other plants they're growing in their backyards. I love to see all this home gardening, but thankfully, I haven't seen any pictures of okra plants. Before I tell you about my hatred for okra, I'd better explain a bit about the proper pronunciation. It wasn't until I was in college that I learned that the itchy pods that we grew each year were pronounced "OAK-RAH." I grew up saying "OAK-REE," and I'd usually pronounce ...

June 05, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


No discipline to be a disciple

Do you remember the Bible verses about Peter denying Christ three times, or the disciples arguing about seating arrangements up in Heaven, or the time they fell asleep while they should have been praying? How do most good folks react, when they hear about someone who disappointed Jesus? Some of them get high-and-mighty, pretty quickly. "Oh, I wouldn't have let Christ down! No sir! Not me! I'd have marched up to those Roman soldiers, and said, 'You want my savior? Well, you'll have to take me first!' That's what I would have said, praise God!"

May 29, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


How to act crazy and get away with it

It's 2011, and we're being rocked by earthquakes, tornados, financial crises and bloody revolutions in the third world. If there were ever a time to completely lose all of your senses and run around town acting nuts, now is as good a time as any. Just in the past two days, I've seen signs that "crazy" is becoming the new norm. While driving down one of our major roads, I passed a man who was waving his arms and screaming at some invisible antagonist. Later, I walked out of a building and saw another man having an ...

May 18, 2011 | David McCoy | Columnists


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