Articles By Author - David McCoy
Where am I? Brain isn't playing fair
Last week, while out of town and staying in a hotel, I had a most exasperating experience.
McCoy: Men, watch your step at weddings
If you're a man who's been invited to a wedding, you need to heed my advice so you know what to do at these alien affairs.
Clip-on tie is the devil’s work
As a kid, I hated Sunday mornings with a passion I now reserve only for unimaginable evils such as genocide and raw onions. Sunday - "the day of rest" - was far from restful for me, and I blame it on a weekly ritual, "dressing up for Sunday school."
McCoy: Sweet memories of kindergarten
Let your mind wander back to kindergarten, and think about those simpler times and all the fun you had. It doesn't matter where you come from; you have to admit that kindergarten was fun. You played with toys, sang songs, colored pictures of fire trucks, and learned radically new concepts like sharing and the letter Q.
A fat boy and his pies
There's an interesting picture hanging in the bathroom of a particular shop here in town.
Spring fever mind games
I wish the weather would stop playing games with us here in the South. It wasn't more than a few weeks ago that I slipped into a pair of short pants for puttering around the house.
McCoy: The joys of a garden
Spring is here, and after we sailed past Good Friday and the risk of frost, it is now planting time! I've bought seeds and pots and I'm ready to plant something.
McCoy: Have a great mid-life crisis
I decided to let my remaining hair grow a lot longer than it normally does, and someone suggested I "must be in a mid-life crisis." Well, yeah! I've been in a mid-life crisis for at least 12 years now, and I have no intention of ending it anytime soon.
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Archive By Author - David McCoy
Two letters to George Washington
Dear President Washington: You don't know me, but you're one of my heroes. I used to keep lots of pictures of you in my wallet, but things got so expensive that I had to use most of them at the grocery store. Anyway, I thought I'd write to tell you about the big mess we're in right now. You always were a smart and courageous leader, and I was hoping you could pop back for ...
McCoy: Mistaken memories
Somewhere, in one of your closets or in your basement, do you have a big box of "sentimental" items that you just can't part with? Until last week, I had three big containers of cards, letters, articles, drawings, awards, and all the trappings of a history that I wanted to keep for posterity. And there were more photographs than I could count. I suppose I could have kept the tubs in a closet until I ...
McCoy: Moving mistakes
When did moving become so difficult? In college, I could pack everything I owned in my little MG and move from dorm to apartment to home with no sweat. Fifteen years later, I packed the barest of necessities in a new Volvo and moved to Tennessee. Well those easy days are gone. We just moved, and it took two huge trucks and more boxes than I could count. We packed, we packed some ...
Goodbye to an Italian beauty
Maybe it's a general character flaw shared by many, but I hate to get rid of a cherished old car, no matter how much trouble it causes me.
Packing for vacation
I bet you're about to hit the beach for your annual summer vacation! Well, I am too, and I know the secret to a successful trip.
A hard-boiled case when it comes to okra
It's gardening time in Georgia, and some of my friends are sharing pictures of tomatoes, peppers, squash and all the other plants they're growing in their backyards. I love to see all this home gardening, but thankfully, I haven't seen any pictures of okra plants. Before I tell you about my hatred for okra, I'd better explain a bit about the proper pronunciation. It wasn't until I was in college that I learned that the ...
No discipline to be a disciple
Do you remember the Bible verses about Peter denying Christ three times, or the disciples arguing about seating arrangements up in Heaven, or the time they fell asleep while they should have been praying? How do most good folks react, when they hear about someone who disappointed Jesus? Some of them get high-and-mighty, pretty quickly. "Oh, I wouldn't have let Christ down! No sir! Not me! I'd have marched up to those Roman soldiers, and ...
How to act crazy and get away with it
It's 2011, and we're being rocked by earthquakes, tornados, financial crises and bloody revolutions in the third world. If there were ever a time to completely lose all of your senses and run around town acting nuts, now is as good a time as any. Just in the past two days, I've seen signs that "crazy" is becoming the new norm. While driving down one of our major roads, I passed a man who was ...
McCoy: Dreams of school nightmarish
I've had enough shocks and scares to script an entire lifetime's worth of nightmares. Once, while walking in the woods, I stumbled upon a coiled snake, just staring at me and daring me to come closer. Another time, I slipped off a log and fell into a creek on an icy February afternoon. Then, there was that one Easter night when a drunk driver slammed into the family Ford Galaxy, right as we were turning ...
No firearms needed for this hunt
Ice cream hunting season is almost here. I'm so excited! During winter, all the ice cream migrates down to Miami where it congregates in retired autoworkers' refrigerators until it's safe to return home. Sadly some of the ice cream will never make it to Georgia. If you wonder why that happens, just look at the average retired autoworker's stomach. Mother
The man’s guide to the laundry room
The washer and dryer are two of the biggest and most dangerous machines anyone can own. So, why do most guys avoid the laundry room like they avoid a Tupperware party? I think it's because most men don't see the washer and dryer as "power tools." Well, that's got to change. Our wives would appreciate some help with the laundry, so I'm going to teach you how to operate those gigantic monsters.
When preachers turn funny
Life used to be so simple. Preachers delivered fire and brimstone visions of Hades to scare the pants off people, and comedians pulled down their pants to make people laugh like... well, you know. Both sides lived by the rule that preachers don't throw pies and comedians don't do funerals, but that's all over. My own preacher, Dr. John Beyers, is as good a minister as you'll ever meet, but he's got a character flaw ...
Time for a cheap watch
Nice watches and I don't get along anymore, and that's just fine with me. No matter how much I'm tempted by their beauty, I'll never again buy an expensive watch. I can't stand to see another "precious timepiece" ruined because of a fried gizmo, jammed cog, or leaky seal. From now on, I'm going to adopt a friend's idea. He goes for "cheap and disposable." My plan - "expensive and disposable" - ...
Cologne by the six pack
I love to smell fine fragrances. Wear chic French perfume around me and I'll sniff the air and try to guess which movie star you're pretending to be. Give me a scratch-and-sniff cologne sample and I'll wear my fingernail down as I scratch up the sweet aroma. But if you apply too much fragrance, I'll turn red and make gagging noises in your direction. I can't help it. I have a sensitive ...
Murder, mayhem and an old song
Do you ever wonder why children aren't completely insane by the time they're adults?
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