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Archive By Author - David McCoy


Celebrating the tiniest things

Complaining is a snap! If America were to hold a Complaining Olympics, I'm certain I'd have a shot at gold for most of the indoor events. Complaining is natural and highly contagious, like Ebola, or some of those sniffles the birdies and piggies are trying to give us. So, what do we do about it? Do we keep complaining, or do we start to call out life's joys as a bit of neuro-linguistic programming to change our wicked ways? Let's try that. Let's start celebrating tiny little things that matter to us. I'll go ...

June 19, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


How much longer, Alice?

Alice is dead. The housekeeper in the center square of mod sitcom entertainment has passed away at 88, leaving her Brady Bunch without their rudder.

June 07, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


Scallions and Gasoline

Scallions and green onions remind me of sweat and gasoline, so is it any wonder that I retch when someone serves me a meal "flavored" with them? Mowing the grass at my Grandmother's house - decades ago when I was a kid - I would guide the old Snapper around the big yard, cutting grass and about half a million wild onions that pretended to be fescue. These obnoxious green demons would slice and dice under the mower's blade and blend with the smell of gasoline, grease, red clay, and my own sweat. As I powered the mower around the ...

May 08, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


The rusty mental camera

I love to explore historical towns. I especially enjoy comparing old town photos to the current locations. Hanging on the walls in Gritz Family Restaurant in McDonough are photos of the old city. Could some of my relatives be in these photos? The specific picture I examined was an aerial photo covering a huge swath of the town square.

April 29, 2014 | David McCoy | Columnists


Vacation Tips for 2014

I'm not going to tell you where to go on your next vacation, but I will give you some advice so you'll enjoy your time away a bit more. See, I took a little vacation out to Phoenix, and I figure the best advice I can give is to just tell you what I did. And then you can do the exact opposite.

April 22, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


Tax time follies

By the time you read this, our annual day of taxation will have come and gone, and you'll have already kissed your money bye-bye as you mailed the government your "fair share" of sweat and tears. But instead of dwelling on the rising tax rate or the marvelously insane tax code, let's try to do something fun with this annual nightmare. Let's imagine where our money is going!

April 15, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


The End of a Good Joke

I bet you haven't gone a month in your life without hearing someone ask, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" People love jokes – the cornier the better – and that old poultry joke just keeps popping up. But I think this yuk-yuk might finally be reaching the end of its shelf life.

April 08, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


Forget about your perfect world

"What would a perfect world look like?" This seems like such a simple question, doesn't it? We think we know what "perfection" means, but let's play a game just to see how difficult this concept really is. We'll start with a simple test: "Would a perfect world have termites?" My wife used to joke about termites "cranking up their little bulldozers" and starting to work. We laughed about that, but we had no problem spraying the little buggers silly when they invaded a spot in our garage. In my perfect world, I wouldn't have to worry ...

March 25, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


Who's feeling naked?

An officer of the law asked if he could share the table where I was chowing down on a mound of North Georgia BBQ. It was a big table, and the joint was packed, so the other diners and I scooted over and let our new guest settle in. "Y'all aren't carrying guns, are ya?" asked the man in uniform. When we assured him we'd left our firearms at home, he said, "I feel naked if I don't have my gun with me." We ate, enjoying our small talk and the best BBQ I've eaten ...

March 18, 2014 | David McCoy | Columnists


Pecan Pie for the Mind

People who work around radioactivity wear those little gadgets called dosimeters to detect if they've been exposed to an unsafe level of radiation. I think it sure would be helpful if we had dosimeters for other uses in our lives. For instance, wouldn't you like to know that you've been exposed to an excessive level of shopping on any given weekend? And what if a dosimeter could warn you when you've ingested a near-lethal dose of AM talk radio? I think we could find about a million uses for these little gadgets. ... or at least enough ...

March 11, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


Let's make every day Thanksgiving

You probably know by now: I'm a complete rabble-rouser who can't stand traditions that get in the way of a meaningful life. Today, I'm going to eviscerate the holiday where we're supposed to be "thankful." Yes... I know we just celebrated Valentine's Day, and Thanksgiving isn't until November, but I want us to look at how we're being manipulated by this holiday. We're told to "Be thankful on this special day," but we're bombarded with sales, sports, parades, and all manner of distractions. Do you remember what you were thankful for ...

February 25, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


Clogged arteries & slow drivers

If you've ever driven a car, you'll recognize this situation. You're about to pull out onto a busy street where there's no traffic signal. So you sit there, and you wait and wait and wait. Finally, you see an opening that should allow you to pull out safely, and then it happens.

February 18, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


A simple customer service test

Before being allowed to work with the public, job applicants should be required to take a customer service skills test to see if they have any business being behind a cash register or wearing a fancy name tag.

January 21, 2014 | David McCoy | LIFE


Have a big heart, retailers

Just three days after Christmas, I ventured into a store and was greeted by a massive display of pulmonary confectionery: Valentine's Day candy in heart-shaped boxes, as it's known on the streets. I marvel at the power of capitalism and its never-ending push for the next source of revenue, but seeing Valentine's candy while the Christmas tree is still glowing is just too much!

January 11, 2014 | David McCoy | Columnists


2014? Not on my watch

It's a new year, but seeing 2014 roll around on the dial scared the bejeebers out of me! After all, 2014 is 30 years after Orwell's nightmarish 1984, and it's a crazy era even he couldn't have conjured up! Who needs that kind of new year? Not me! In fact, I want to forget 2014 and welcome back some old years instead.

January 04, 2014 | David McCoy | Columnists


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