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Posted: May 9, 2013 8:00 a.m.

Queen for Mother's Day

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Does your mom get tired of flowers? Is she bored to death with the thought of brunch rather than sleeping in on Mother’s Day? Then read on, because there’s no reason you can’t ditch the cliché this Mother’s Day and do something that will make your mom remember just why you’re her favorite child – or why you should be from now on.

My mother hates getting flowers. Her logic is that I’m wasting my money since they will just wither and die, and even if I sent a bouquet of roses the size of a small sheep, she’d still rather not bother with them. I tried chocolate-covered strawberries one year and she was less than impressed. I’ve also gone down the Edible Arrangements route with minor success. I’ve wasted ridiculous amounts of money to try to show I love her more than my sister, when I could have done far less with a better end result. So my gift to you, dear readers, is a few ideas of how to impress mom and show her your love without going the traditional route. 

5. Clean the house. I know this sounds boring, and literally no fun at all. And, if you think that, you would be right. But remember how much of a pain it is to clean your own place – that shows mad love for moms that you are willing to vacuum and dust when you aren’t getting an allowance for it anymore. You could always try for an allowance now…let me know how that works out for you.

4. Cook her breakfast/lunch/dinner. I’m not suggesting you do all three, unless you’re a total overachiever, but pick one and do it right. Cook bacon the way she likes it – not the way you do – and make sure you make her favorites. If you do decide on lunch or dinner, try for a cool recipe that takes a little effort but that is filled with food she loves. And here’s the biggie – make sure you clean up after. There’s none of this “I made it, so she can clean” nonsense on Mother’s Day. And be nice about serving her – none of this slinging her plate at her in resentment because you’ve slaved. Act right, people.

3. Weed her garden. My mom loves her garden and her bird and squirrel feeders. She used to have binoculars that she used to “watch the birds” when I was in high school. I actually believed her until one day she told me I should date the neighbor boy because she had been watching him mow the yard without his shirt on. What’s up, Mrs. Robertson? But I digress. Everyone knows that having a pretty garden is awesome, but keeping it pretty is a pain in the rear. So get on your knees and weed those flower beds, stake up those recently-planted tomato plants and fill up the bird feeders. It doesn’t matter if you think its lame; your work gives mom a pretty place to “watch the birds” without having to do the work herself. At least until it gets really hot outside.

2. Give her a spa day. This doesn’t mean take her to the nail salon down the street either, lazy! Get out the foot bath (or a big plastic bowl if you don’t have one), and do her toes. Rub them, scrub them, paint them. It’s dirty work I’m sure, but your mom would appreciate the effort. While her toes dry, paint her nails (unless she has acrylic, then leave that to the professionals), and give her a massage – a good one too. Would it be easier to take her to the spa, of course! But this shows more love, so make it happen!

1. Queen for a Day! This is the hard one. You have to really commit to making this Mother’s Day the best one she’s ever had. If you have siblings I would suggest making them help. Read all of the above and then… do it! Make her meals, clean her house, weed the garden and rub her feet. Go a step further and clean her car too – no one likes doing that. Are you doing grunt work? Sure you are. But she gave you the gift of life. I’m sure a cherry on the top of her perfect day would be telling you all the gory details – you should totally ask over dinner. 

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