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Posted: October 16, 2011 12:00 a.m.

A new line of iGadgets

In what has to prove the world is wobbling in its greased groove, two Americans have won the Nobel Prize in economics.

We are in the middle of the worst recession - or the best depression - in recent memory and two Americans with the prize for economics? This should prove to everyone that God does indeed have a sense of humor.

The work for which Thomas Sargent and Christopher Sims received the reward was conducted during the 1970's and 1980's and is based on examining how growth and inflation may be impacted by things such as temporary interest rate increases or tax cuts. Wonder when the last time either one of these guys had to look for a job.

And this happened the same week Steve Jobs, the genius behind Apple and Silicon Valley, died.

Economists remind me of the guy who writes the book explaining how to be successful with women but can't get a date. And our August politicians depend upon them, no matter what the political persuasion, to give them rational reasons for their economic positions.

Jobs may not have been an economists but he had an understanding of the way the world works that put him ahead of most people. It's a shame Steve Jobs died because with the current gaggle of political candidates the landscape was ripe for a whole new division of Apple gadgets candidates could come to depend upon.

The iLost would be perfect for all those candidates who keep blathering aimlessly on but only have $11.42 in which to run their campaign. When held tightly this device would help politicians keep a straight face by zapping them with an electrical charge when they say "I'm in the race to stay and just want to get my message out." Newt Gingrich could have given these away at his next campaign stop, if he has one.

The iQuit would be for all the would-be candidates who string everyone along before realizing they actually have no chance to win and announce they will not run. There would be a special signature version autographed by Sarah Palin.

We could have the iPerry. This handheld, not exactly smart phone, would allow you to put in random numbers - such as the Texas employment figures or your bank balance - and it would produce a pie chart indicating everything was great even if you just bounced 23 checks.
The MittPad would allow the operator to put in any question with the understanding no matter what the topic you will get three answers.

The iObama would be a handsome device that looks great but when you push the buttons nothing happens. After dismal sales Apple, in a brilliant marketing move, would drop the letter "O" and make it the BamaPad causing sales to skyrocket among Crimson Tide fans.

Then we have the iDuh. This device would automatically allow a candidate to send out a photo of a cow and make mooing sounds in an effort to distract a voter when the candidate gave a half-true answer or unbelievable explanation when asked a question or demanded a clarification of the their position.

Then we could have the ultimate gadget: the EconoPad. This little gem would allow any politician to enter every piece of economic information known to man so they could provide an answer as to how they would fix the economy, except the answer would be so full of double-speak and hyperbole it would rocket to the top of the New York Times bestseller list for fiction

Shoot, that one might have even won Jobs a Nobel Prize.


Ric Latarski is a freelance writer who writes on a variety of topics and can be reached at Rlatarski@aol.com.

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