David Bowie fans may be in the know about hunky-dory, but I didn't know anything about its origins until recently.
See, I have a problem with clichés, colloquialisms and other such nonsense. It's absurd - a writer who can't master the turn of phrase. I use them like English isn't my first language which is an endless source of fun for my husband. I don't know why I do this. Maybe I had a little too much fun in the late 80s/early 90s. I am oftentimes happy to be in the red. I mean, black. And if I'm busy, I sometimes remind my husband that I'll be out of hat. I mean, pocket.

Because of this wordy disability, I like to know the origins of these phrases. My reasoning is, if I know where they come from, I'll have a better command of them. This hasn't been the case in the nearly 20 years I've been collecting the clichés everyone else seems to use such grace and ease. I do, however, make for one serious trivia opponent.

I made a new friend recently who isn't just new to me, but she's new to this country as well. Although her English is quite good, she's struggling with a few phrases. You can imagine how much help I am to her. She's figured out that when I say, "bless her heart," I'm going to tell her something terrible about someone. I think my new friend is coming along nicely.

She wrote down a few phrases for me recently that she's having trouble understanding. Like me, she wants to know not only the meaning, but the origins. She wants an explanation for fly by the seat of your pants and what the heck is this "hunky-dory" people say when she asks how they are? Hunky-dory really caught my attention, because who uses that phrase in the year 2011? Um, I do after looking up its origins.

I compiled (i.e. Googled) a vast amount of research on the origins of my friend's list of English phrases. Hunky-dory is among my favorites and I will do my best to bring it back into use, because seriously, how can something that sounds so decidedly Leave it to Beaver be so terrible in every way?

Hunky-dory dates back to the 19th century, when American sailors used it to describe the Japanese street, Honcho-dori. See, friends, this street was known for providing lonely sailors with, ahem, company. The word hunk used to mean well-being and safety, so a sailor who was hunky-dory was happy regardless of whether or not he'd paid a visit to Honcho-dori. Although, I imagine he was especially happy if he had been entertaining at that infamous locale. This is so wonderfully salacious, when asked how I am, I just might be hunky-dory for the rest of my life.

Turns out, the origins of some other phrases on her list weren't as fabulous. Nitty-gritty, for example. It was easy enough to explain to my friend that when we talk about getting down to the nitty-gritty, we mean the basis, the essentials. Unfortunately, the words nitty-gritty come from the grit-like nits found in your hair when you have lice. If you've ever had the displeasure of nit-picking (another terrible phrase), then you understand just how difficult it is to get those suckers out of there. Thus, getting down to the nitty-gritty is no small feat and is pretty darn nasty to shoe. I mean, boot.

When you're pleased as punch, my friend wondered, are you pleased like the violent act or the party drink? And how would either make sense? Unless, of course, you drink so much punch, you become pleased. Wouldn't it be more accurate to say "pleased as drunk" then? Looks like the origins of this phrase have nothing to do with either of those kinds of punch. If you're pleased as punch, you're pleased like a psychopath. The punch in this phrase is the infamous Mr. Punch of British carnivals. Y'all might not be familiar with him, but he killed his baby, his wife, the police, the judge and the devil, too.

My friend listed several more phrases with which she is having trouble. Throwing in the towel was easily explained. My two Latin loving Littles explained the origins of the word crap. (I'm happy to see they're retaining something from all those Latin lessons.) Explaining holy crap is proving more difficult. I'm also at a loss to define "when pigs fly" and how my friend should keep her eyes peeled.

In addition to these somewhat archaic phrases, my friend also gave me a list of more modern verbiage to decipher. Unfortunately, I'm hopeless when it comes to the colorful speak of today's youth. I haven't understood most of what people under the age of 20 are saying for quite some time now. Throw in my cliché disability and you have the makings for some very 70s sitcom moments in my everyday life. I had to hand that particular list over to the Teenager. I was mortified that she knew what everything on the list meant. She just rolled her eyes and said, "Mama, I go to public school."

I just want to give y'all a heads up on the next big thing you're gonna hear. Teenagers all over the place are going to be throwing around hunky-dory like ganglanders (I mean, gangbusters!) and you'll have me to thank for it. Let's just hope no one gets as pleased as punch in the process.

Beth McAfee-Hallman lives in Covington and can be emailed at mamabee@onefabulousmama.com.