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Posted: September 18, 2011 12:00 a.m.

The discovery of a new planet

Just in case you missed this, scientists have discovered a planet outside our solar system that is in what they call the Goldilocks Zone - not too hot, not too cold - which makes it a possible place for life to form.

Designated HD85512b scientists admit that even though it is in the Goldilocks Zone this planet is not a very pleasant place because it is considered very hot and muggy with extreme humidity which would make life difficult.

In other words it may be similar to south Georgia in August. The scientists are not sure if life exists on the planet, but since mosquitoes live in south Georgia anything is possible.

But given the heat and miserable conditions and the likelihood intelligent life does not exist makes the planet more like Texas in August.

However, this is political season and high profile candidates running for president must have a position on everything so they would need to decide how to deal with planet HD85512b, just in case.

No doubt President Barack Obama would want to send a stimulus probe to the planet in hopes it would create enough interest that anyone who happened to be standing around would respond. Obama would hope the response would not be, "what are you doing here?"

Since the planet is already hot and muggy and if no life is found, Texas Gov. Rick Perry would use this as the perfect example to demonstrate humankind is not responsible for global warming.

If primitive life is found, Perry can make the argument we don't need to go and check it out because the life will never evolve into anything.

And if intelligent life were found on HD85512b, Perry could announce the reports as an advanced Ponzi scheme and determine future investment in space exploration would be a waste of money.

Sarah Palin, who may or may not be running for anything but is drifting across the country like the Ring Nebula of Lyra, can announce the discovery was not a surprise because she can see outer space from her back yard.

In true Tea Party style Rep. Michele Bachmann would demand the planet be made smaller, but since a planet can't be made smaller without some type of disaster, she would urge the sun around HD85512b to turn into a black hole, not only making the planet smaller but eventually getting rid of it completely.

Former Gov. Mitt Romney would likely note that a year on HD85512b only lasts 60 days instead of 365 and deem this a much needed regulatory change that would benefit all life forms on the planet.

Former Rep. Newt Gingrich, who might wish to conceal the fact he may actually be from planet HD85512b, would liken the discovery as some sort of mirage, rather like the Contract with America.

Since there is no way to really determine exactly what is on HB85521b, just as there is no way to really tell what a politician will do after getting elected, we will have to wait for a later time and more advances in science to give us an idea of what we might find on some far away world.

And it would be nice if some of those advances could tell us what's in a politician's mind because Gene Roddenberry was wrong when he wrote space is the final frontier.
The final frontier is politics and Washington, D.C., is the destination. If Albert Einstein had to discover an equation to explain what goes on there, he would have been stuck working in the patent office in Bern for his entire life.

As for HD85521b, the environment is extreme, hostile, muggy and full of hot air.

Hmmm, sounds a little like Washington.


Freelance writer Ric Latarski can be reached at Rlatarski@aol.com.

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