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Posted: May 18, 2011 12:30 a.m.

How to act crazy and get away with it

It's 2011, and we're being rocked by earthquakes, tornados, financial crises and bloody revolutions in the third world. If there were ever a time to completely lose all of your senses and run around town acting nuts, now is as good a time as any. Just in the past two days, I've seen signs that "crazy" is becoming the new norm. While driving down one of our major roads, I passed a man who was waving his arms and screaming at some invisible antagonist. Later, I walked out of a building and saw another man having an intense conversation, but there wasn't anyone around him. Maybe these folks are in tune with the current reality and have decided to avoid the rush and go crazy now. But, I don't want to give anyone too much credit for creative thinking. Maybe they're just on the phone.

A few years ago, I was introduced to the "she looks crazy, but she's really on the phone" phenomenon. I was enjoying lunch in a local restaurant, and the woman at the table across from me spent her entire meal talking and gesturing and mumbling in what appeared to be a fog of confusion. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, partly out of curiosity, and partly out of concern for my safety. At the end of her meal, she got up to pay, and then it all became clear. She was wearing a clip-on earpiece - one of those devices that you use with your cell phone. I hadn't seen it because she had her right ear turned from me the whole time she was conversing with the other party. So, she probably wasn't crazy after all. And there's the secret to coping with life in 2011.

If you're indeed likely to go crazy in 2011, then buy one of those ear phone gadgets. You can find them in most shops around town. Then just wear it everywhere you go. You don't even have to turn it on. When you finally do snap because of mortgages, nuclear meltdowns, or whatever is coming next, you'll be prepared. You can start drooling, screaming, and waving your hands around your head. As long as you've got that thing in your ear, you'll be able to go crazy in broad daylight, and no one will even bother to look at you. How's that for a plan? Crazy, huh?


David McCoy, a notorious storyteller, lives in Conyers and can be reached at davemeccoy@bellsouth.net.

 

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